Why I mourn... and sometimes dance

"You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy." Psalm 30:11 NIV

So, on this 6th anniversary, I am doing okay.

Much life has been lived in the last 6 years. Much has been accomplished.

God has been gracious to me and to my boys, giving me several opportunities to "share the load" with others who unfortunately, have walked a similar road.

I know one thing... Grief and healing have their own timeline, and only God can order those steps. What we can do, is to be willing to let him mold us as the ultimate Sculptor, and just become like clay.

As some of you know, music has been a powerful balm that soothes my soul. Making art that speaks has also been part of my healing. Occasionally, I also write poetry. It's been a while since I've written, and I do not have anything recent. I'm not sure I ever shared the poem below in a public forum, but when I think of the losses, this poem speaks to that well.

ode to one who is no longer

Days passed and I pushed away

Feelings, longings

memories and then

773 days came

and the flooded face could not

deny my aching heart

you were so much more than

words on paper

FUN. FUNNY. FUN-LOVING.

DEEP. SCHOLARLY. THOUGHTFUL.

KIND. APPROACHABLE. CARING.

CREATIVE. QUIRKY. ROMANTIC.

SWEET. SELFLESS. SINGULAR.

you were honest

you were fair

you were safe

then you walked away

and I almost forgot

that which you once had been.

a dad.

a lover.

a friend.

what a loss. to me. to them. to HIS kingdom. (written Jan. 27, 2014.)

"A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance." Ecclediastes 3:4

#mourning #anniversary #grief #poem

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